More Musings on Michael...

Just a few more random stories that I didn't manage to include in my original article...

--Once, Michael asked me to run down the street to McDonalds to grab some lunch for him. This was a pretty rare request, as he usually had a personal chef come in every day to prepare his meals. Anyway, when I asked him what he wanted, he admitted that he had no idea what they served, and that he had just heard from people that the food was good there!

I ended up getting him one sample of nearly every item from the menu. He took a small bite of each, and then told me what he liked and what he didn't. If I remember correctly, he really liked their fish sandwich.

--When the title track "Dangerous" was being recorded, Michael was injured in the studio and had to be rushed to the hospital! A temporary recording booth that we had built for him collapsed and knocked him on the head just as he started singing.

He ended up being just fine, and for a long time, we used to play an early mix of the song which started with a sample of him screaming in pain as the walls came tumbling down!

--He was amazing in the studio. He has the equivalent of a photographic memory for music. He could sing something 40 different ways, and then two weeks later, remember that takes # 6 and 27 were the best ones.

--We recorded so much music for Dangerous, that it was nearly impossible for MJ to pick out what was going to end up on the album. At once point, it was going to be a double album, as he had well over two hours of music chosen for the release.

When Sony decided they wanted it all to fit on a single CD, Michael kept coming back with lists of his his "final" selections, but they almost always added up to over 74 minutes--the maximum running time for the disc. I remember them going back and forth on this for weeks.

--Madonna visited MJ in the studio exactly one time. They spent a little while in his "private" room in the back, and then she left. When I asked Micheal later about her visit, he said that she "scared" him.

I think we all speculated that she tried to make a "move" on him, but Michael never said. In any event, we never saw her again after that...

--Brooke Shields used to call him on the phone a lot. This was the pre-cell phone era, so I would usually answer his calls and then have to go find him in the studio. She was always really nice to me.

The Backstreet Boys came by one day, too. And, in the whole time I worked there, Janet only stopped by once as well.

--There were originally three production teams working in our studio. After working up about a half a dozen songs with one of them, Michael decided he didn't like any of the stuff they had come up with, and fired them. I think some of these songs eventually came out in later releases...

--When Teddy Riley was brought on board, he didn't want to work in our studio. So for three months, our studio sat empty, and my whole job consisted of driving tapes back and forth between our place and Teddy's.

--MJ was very concerned about the Gulf War. Once, he asked me if I was going to have to go fight with the Army. When I told him I was planning on staying right where I was, he said "that's good--because if you go to the war, you could die."

--Michale had some $900 remote-controlled motorcycles delivered to the studio one day. He asked me to come out to the parking lot to try them out, and when we were messing around with them, he drove his motorcycle out of the lot and into the alley, when a car came by and ran it over!

He thought that was really funny. I couldn't believe that he could laugh so much at losing a thousand-dollar toy.

--He still has my ink pin!

My Brush With Badness

A few weeks ago, I was at a staff meeting for new employees where everyone in the room was asked to mention one interesting thing about themselves that nobody else would know. I waited patiently 'til my turn came around, and then calmly explained how Michael Jackson once sent me to J.C. Penney to buy him underwear.

Since I have told my friends this story countless times, I was a little surprised by the strong reaction people had to my off-the-cuff comment. I guess I shouldn't have been. Like him or not, there is no denying that Michael Jackson is still a force of nature. Even my 5th graders are aware of him, and they were all of three years old when his last record came out! So to set the record straight, here is the account of my years with the so-called King of Pop.

Back in 1989, I was a fresh-faced college grad in Los Angeles searching for my first job. Since I was one of the six people that year who actually went to college just to learn how to work in a recording studio, I had no problem landing a position at one of the major studios in Hollywood. Of course, even with an expensive college degree, you couldn't just expect to start off working with bands inside the building, because that required actual EXPERIENCE, which of course was what everyone else was out getting while I was pursuing my worthless degree.

Instead, they stuck me out in the parking shack across the street for two months. Strangely enough, I had some experience in this area, as I had spent the summer working as a valet in a garage near Fenway Park.

Parking cars for rock stars certainly had its moments. Iggy Pop once drove up in a Hyundai with no windshield. Either Milli or Vanilli tipped me a dollar for parking their Jeep. The Beastie Boys all sped off laughing one day in their rented Escort, and then drove straight up to Mulholland Drive and pushed it over the cliff. And once a week during lunch, David Crosby handed me a twenty-dollar bill to take his brand-new BMW 750 to the car wash, which really only set me back like three bucks. Once when I brought it back to him, he handed me another twenty for a tip.

Nevertheless, a promotion was inevitable, and in the winter of '89. I was promoted to the midnight to eight janitorial position. At least I was happy to be inside the building, as it was getting cold in the unheated parking shack. But I knew absolutely nothing about cleaning toilets and mopping floors, as evidenced by the huge cloud of noxious smoke that spewed from the cleaning bucket on my first night when I mixed the bleach and ammonia together.

Washing David Crosby's car for twenty bucks was one thing. But cleaning the studio bathroom after David Crosby had been in there for twenty minutes was a different deal entirely. For starters, I was supposed to stay awake all night, but after six hours of cleaning the entire building, this was easier said then done. Finally, one morning as I was leaving, the studio manager asked me to take two small brass elephant bookends home and polish them up before my next shift. I spent the day looking for another job instead, and found one right away at a studio down the street on Sunset Blvd.

At my new job, I was hired on as a "runner," which meant I got to run errands all over LA in my trusty '84 VW Rabbit. A couple months later, they moved me out to a studio in the San Fernando Valley for a "special" project.

This project would eventually become Michael Jackson's "Dangerous" album. When I first started, Michael was working with three different groups of producers all trying to take the place of Quincy Jones, who had not been chosen to work on this project. I think Michael wanted to go out on his own for this one, but the problem was that he had no idea what he wanted! One day, Slash from Guns N' Roses would be recording a searing guitar solo, while the next day, a chorus of thirty children would be singing a nursery rhyme or something.

Michael didn't say much to me at first, until one day he ran in screaming that there was a "vagabond" sitting in the alley behind the studio. I took a look, expecting Charlie Chaplin to pop out or something, but there was just some homeless guy sipping malt liquor out of a bag on the back steps.

Eventually, Michael warmed up to me, and even started talking to me once in a while if he was in the mood. Once, he asked if I was going to have to go fight in the (Gulf) war. I told him I was probably too old to be drafted, and he responded by saying that he was relieved, because "if you went to the war, you could die."

He also started sending me out on errands, like going out with his credit card one afternoon to fill his huge Blazer up with gasoline. If I remember correctly, he had an auxiliary gas tank mounted, so he could get up to his ranch without having to get out and fill up along the way.

I guess I should mention at this point that Michael is an awful driver. He hit everyone's car in the studio lot at least once, including mine. One time, he rear-ended a guy on the 101 freeway, and just left the scene because the guy got out of his car and started screaming at him. Eventually, he gave up and got someone to drive him in to work every day.

Other memorable experiences include calling Tower Records (RIP) an hour before they closed, and having them shut down early so that Michael and I could go shopping. Even thought it was just up the road, I was glad to get out of MJ's car and into the safety of the store! I think he dropped about $1500 on CDs that night.

Anyway, one day Michael shyly asked me if I could do him a special favor. I'm pretty sure this was after he stopped driving, so I guess he really didn't have any other way to get stuff during the day. Of course I agreed, which was when he told me flat-out that he had just run out of underwear.

For pretty much the whole two years that I worked with him, Michael came in every day wearing black dress pants and a red button-down shirt. He had a whole rack of just these two items in his office, which I assume he either had cleaned and returned to him, or just threw away at the end of the day. But on this particular day, I guess he was running low on drawers.

At first, he just said that he wanted underwear. When I asked him what kind, he just repeated "Underwear!" When I told him I wasn't his mother and didn't know what to get, he kind of laughed, and then said "Hanes thirty please." When I was almost out the door however, he came running up and yelled "make them thirty-twos, I don't want them to be too tight!" So there it is folks. The King of Pop wears tightie-whities!

Other than that, I never saw any funny business going on for the two years I worked with him. I really enjoyed this experience, and even got my name on the CD! Michael was always polite and reserved in the studio, but he had his silly moments as well.

He was also really concerned about doing anything that would inadvertently upset anybody around him. Even though he was spending five thousand bucks a day on studio time, Michael left me this note one day on my desk. I kept it as a souvenir, and pull it out now and then if people ever question my story. It pretty much tells you everything you need to know about him as a person and an artist.



*More discussion on this post can be found here. For the purposes of clarification, Michael was just telling me that he took a pen off my desk. Also, the French translation of "tightie-whities" to "panties," although humorous, is not accurate. The type of undergarment I am describing is just a plain white pair of men's cotton briefs. Many men continue to wear these into adulthood, though most switch to boxer shorts at some point.

McNaught Guitars Shop Tour

Great pictorial on building up a guitar from scratch here.

Apple SkinniPod Causing Quite A Stir

Cupertino, California--According to an unnamed source inside Apple, the world's favorite music player is about to get a very radical makeover.

Contrary to recent rumors that the future iPod Nano will be getting a wider form factor to make it more video-friendly, mock-ups of the new "SkinniPod" design show an elongated player that looks to be at least five times as long as it is wide. In addition, these leaked images of the unit show it only in black, which just adds to the slimming effect.

In a recent interview, independent industry analyst Ellen Doppler stated that Apple "was definitely looking to set itself apart from the crowd" with this new version of the Nano. "Let's face it," added Doppler, "the market is already saturated with Chinese iPod Nano clones. At this point, Apple is clearly a victim of their own success, and right now they are going to need to make some bold moves like this to stay ahead of the game."

Judging by the results of an informal chat room poll, most users saw little benefit to the skinniPod concept, but added that they would probably buy one anyway. "I personally don't see much use for it," mentioned one anonymous participant, "unless you only happen to like watching videos about skyscrapers or giraffes."

Digg it.

Live From Earth

Some of the nice bits from the recent Live Earth concert. Enjoy them while they are still around!

The Craziest Version of Crazy You'll Ever Hear!

Awesome version of "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley arranged for theremin, Fender Bass VI, and some lovely Berber carpet!

Les Paul--The Man Who Started It All

Fantastic ten-minute trailer from an upcoming PBS special about the inventor of the modern electric guitar, Les Paul.

Craziest-Looking Fender Guitars Of All Time!

Here are some of the wackiest Fenders that have been submitted to my site to date. Click on any of the links for more info and pics...



A highly-modified 1954 Stratocaster named "Ralph." Recently acquired from the original owner who played in a Country and Western band throughout Northern Colorado in the 50's and 60's.

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1973 Telecaster Custom in terrible condition. Guitar was refinished white over brown, and then the white paint was removed where it was visible. Basically, this guitar looks beat-to-hell.


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Check out the wild wood grain patterns of this all-natural '74 Strat.




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This '69 Esquire was originally white! Look what 40 years of smoky bar gigs can do to a guitar...




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Who doesn't love the oh-so-'70s Antigua finish on these guitars? Takes a hell of a lot of picking to wear thru the pickguard like that.




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Top Ten Rarely-Heard Sounds Of High Technology

Number Ten: The Eight-Track Clack



The much-maligned eight-track cartridge was the bane of every mobile music lover's existence in the oh-so-funky 1970s. Most albums were released on this format almost as an afterthought; track orders were commonly re-arranged, and some songs were repeated, split in two, or deleted entirely to accommodate the four equal-length programs.

At the end of each program, or "track," a thin metal strip at the splice point of the tape would signal the playback head to move to the next position. For those of you too young to know, this page has a sample of the sound it made:

The Eight-Track Clack

Number Nine: The Ringer Finger



Wayyyy back in the day, you couldn't just walk into any old store and buy a phone. You rented your phones from the phone company, and you owned them for freaking' ever until they broke or something new came along. For most of us growing up in the '70s, that meant we had rotary dial phones.

Most of us got rid of these antiques as soon as tone dialing hit the market. However, my 94-year-old grandmother held on to hers until a few years ago, when the phone company said they were removing the equipment that could translate the pulses into numbers at the Central Office. My grandmother actually had no issue with getting a touch-tone phone, she just didn't see the need to switch because they charged five dollars extra per month for the service!

The Ringer Finger

Number Eight: The Little Drummer Boy



I know, retro beats are all the rage these days. But few musicians are willing go back to the days of the earliest drum machines, which sounded more like kitchen appliances than actual drums.

The Little Drummer Boy

Number Seven: Duck & Cover



Where I grew up in Michigan, they used to test the air raid sirens once a month on Sunday. I haven't heard one in years, but maybe some places still provide their citizens with this eerie reminder of lingering cold war tensions.

Duck & Cover

Number Six: Tones On Tail



On some higher-end prerecorded cassette tapes, there was a series of tones that played at the beginning of the program before the music on each side. Not sure what their purpose was, but they kind of sounded like this:

Tones On Tail

Number Five: Rainy Day People



In Detroit, you used to be able to dial WEA-1212 from any area code to get an up-to-the-minute weather report. There was also another number to call "The Time Lady," as my mom used to say. I don't think these services are generally available any more, but here is a service that will call you with weather reports from outer space:

Rainy Day People

Number Four: The Dangerous Type



Ahh, the pleasing sounds of the manual typerwriter. The click-clacking of keys. The zip-zippering of the paper. The cute little bell that rings at the end of the line.

How quaint. How utterly useless today:

The Dangerous Type

Number Three: Robby The Robot



On a recent trip to Chicago, I got to drive my dad's new Dodge Charger. The voice of the built-in navigation system sounds like the hottest babe you never saw. However, back in the day, any kind of synthesized voice that came out of your car, computer or telephone sounded more like this:

Robby The Robot

Number Two: Lights Out!



Remember those great hygiene and car crash films in Jr. high school? The projector was usually louder than the film's soundtrack, but at least you got to make out with your girlfriend in the back of the class.

Lights Out!

Number One: The Modem Song



Around 1995 or so, I finally gave in and bought a 14.4 modem for my roommate's PowerPC 6100 since he was too cheap get one himself. At first, all we had was eWorld, which even then I knew was not going to last. Eventually, we signed up with AOL, which at the time did not even let you connect to the internet! So for $21.95 a month, you either got to chat with the other 12 people on AOL at the time, or you got to check out their various "channels," which if I recall correctly, had about enough information on them to keep you occupied for at least the better part of a single afternoon.

In any case, the ten-minute process for logging on would go something like this:

Step One: Dial the first number.
Step Two: Get a busy signal.
Step Three: Dial the second number.
Step Four: Get a busy signal
Step Five: Dial the first number again.
Step Six: Get knocked off half-way thru the logon process when your roommate's girlfriend calls him for the 37th time that day on the same line...

Eventually, you would get to hear the modem's glorious symphony of beeps, bings and whirs that meant you were finally connected to the Internet. Since most of us have broadband today, or internal modems at the very least, this is a rarely heard sound today indeed, and I for one couldn't be happier about that.

The Modem Song

Seven Significant Strats

A well-researched article on seven celeb-owned Strats and their whereabouts today.

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Prince Rocks A (Purple) Rain-Soaked Halftime Crowd

Now that James Brown has passed into the great beyond, Prince really should petition to take over the title of "the hardest working man in show business." Hip-replacement surgery be damned, the 48-year-old diminutive singer delievered an explosive, high-energy set this Sunday featuring fireworks, a symbol-shaped stage, and even a nod to supergroup Queen.

Donning a tailored powder-blue suit, peach shirt, and a snazzy black "doo rag" (no doubt a result of the torrential rain shower he was performing under), Prince and his trusty Hohner Telecaster guitar ripped into Let's Go Crazy, asking for some help from the audience on the choruses. Prince is playing a lot of guitar these days, and never fails to impress with his lightning-fast runs and impassioned string bending.

After a short nod to 1999, Prince segued into "Baby I'm A Star," another uptempo rocker from the "Purple Rain" soundtrack. Even though Prince claimed he was retiring all the old songs on his last tour, I guess he decided to air a few of them out once again for the appreciative Super Bowl XLI crowd.

With marching band in tow, Prince then headed off into the land of unexpected cover songs, running through a verse and chorus of Proud Mary, before switching to a matching powder-blue Strat and the Dylan/Hendrix classic All Along The Watchtower, which morphed into a similarly-structured Foo Fighters song that I have heard a million times but have no idea what it is called. After seeing him work out a funky solo over the riff to Rock Lobster during last week's press conference, I guess nothing should faze me by this point.

Finally, the rocking ten minute set concluded with the obligatory version of Purple Rain, played on the "symbol" shaped purple guitar that must give his chiropractor fits.

All in all, an energetic if unsurprising set (excluding the covers, of course). The problem with seeing Prince is that he has so many great songs in his repertoire, he always leaves you wanting more. But after ten minutes of standing in the pouring rain jumping around like a man half his age, I'm sure even Prince was pleased to bring this eclectic set to a well-deserved close.

Fender Electric Guitar Course

Hard to believe they used the "wholesome" angle to sell electric guitars back in 1966...

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We've Been BoingBoinged!

This should do wonders for my traffic...



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